I'm giving away things. Yes, they are different-- altered-- from slipping through my hands. But it's time to let them go and move forward into the future.
Brezny asked me "What has changed within?" I wrote that on a sticky note at work, and somehow it made it's way to my shower-- and now stares out at me while I'm nude, asking that vaporizing question.
What has changed within?
Well, two things:
I don't want Brian. I don't want Jeff.
I don't want to consider myself a bad person for not wanting to work a 9-5 gig that gives me absolutely NOTHING to look forward to.

I want Art.
I want Adam.
I want to find myself worthy-- I want to stop convincing myself that my karma is dictating to me to have shitty jobs and be miserable. "Master the shitty job and then..."
Maybe I'll never master something that I don't care to master. Maybe I'll never master it. I keep banging my head against this wall--
That's what has changed within: There is something finally banging back.